101 Ways To Annoy People

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Andjane

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1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
 
I don't need no tips to annoy people, this is just for noobs like yourself. :bleh:
 
You know, I could almost read your reply before you even posted it!! :tongue:
 
Glad to hear that you have psychic abilities, so when am I getting married? :D
 
^^Yes, I almost forgot about it. :lol: Its on my to-do list. If I do not get married before 30, I'll surely adopt a baby :D
 
# 16,36,45,69 are the things i do often...many more i do are not listed here bluffy...still there are more
 
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  27. ForeverWarden:
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  28. HolidaySpa:
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  33. New Oriental Health Centre:
    🫦 Phoenix, Nayla & New Girl Coco are in today 📞Call 📲 Text: (647) 381-2688 🫦 Phoenix is a Canadian Born Filipino Hottie 🍑 Nayla is a Tall, Young, Beautiful & Curvy Spanish Girl. 💄Coco is a young sexy Taiwanese girl💋 All Our Girls Provide Lots of E X T R A S & are Extremely Open-Minded 🤗 Open from 8 am til Late! Drop in to Unit 26, 10 East Wilmot Street, Richmond Hill.
  34. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix blossom Spa ♨️♨️♨️table shower 👍👍👍👍👍body scrub🌹🌹🌹🌹5124 Dundas W Etobicoke ☎️416-817-3366 Nice girl Luna She can provide a very good massage with sensual touch. She knows how to take direction and please a man. Suki 😘can provide deep Thai massage. She takes directions very well. She has many assets and knows how to use them. Come see her today.Welcome to walk in or make an appointment at any time. Plenty of parking space at the back door
  35. seavisual:
    R
  36. EMSpa_schedule:
    Tomorrow's sneak peek: On Wednesday November 27, 2024, our attendants will be Carla 🥰, Opal ❤️, Cici 🔥, Sandy 🤗 and Yoyo 🤩. Call 905-479-6668 to book
  37. hiyamickey:
    7 girls working at Reinella wellness, 19 years old Japanese student girl Hannah, Tiffany, Queenie, Ocean, Sasha, Grace, Candy @6262 hwy7 unit #1 Vaughan ☎️:905-851-4888
  38. SL West:
    💆‍♀💖Tue Blue?💜💖 Ultimate destination for Asian massages🎉 Two fab spots: SL Richmond Hill & SL West Oakville✨ Your passport to paradise with 9 enchanting girls fr China, HK, Japan & Korea —Cici, Cindy, Coco, new Aliyah, Yui, Echo, 36D Amber, Kelly & Korean Luna — ready to pamper you🎁🍁 Ring us 📞647-695-6354 or text us 📱647-578-8169✨ 160 East Beaver Cr., Unit 12, RichmondHill 💰Where Eastern charm meets Western comfort - your bliss awaits🙌
  39. Golden Sunshine Spa:
    ✨Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates and special services ! ✅ Today🌸Susan🌸Luna🌸Cassy🌸Lynda Call us ☎ 905 - 265 - 2158☎️ Your ultimate service awaits! ✨
  40. Soul Relax Spa:
    ✨ Looking for a relaxing escape? ✅ Meet🌸Claire🌸Isabella🌸JazminCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now ☎ 289 - 298 - 5662☎️ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! ✨
  41. Sparkling Spa:
    ⚡🌟SPARKLING SPA⚡🌟 ✅50 Lockridge Ave Unit 8✅ 👌Markham, ON L3R 8X4👌 ☎️ (905) 604-8186 Spa Land Line☎️ ☎️ (437) 446-6688 NEW Spa Cell Phone☎️ (West of Warden & 16th Ave) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥SUPERSTAR SERVICE QUEENS AVAILABLE AT SPARKLING SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥SEXY NEW YOUNG GIRLS ALWAYS WORKING - Today’s Schedule is…🔥 Coco -🔥😘Our new sexy and slim massage girl Coco exudes elegance and allure, with
  42. lotushubspa:
    LotusSpa, today we have arranged different beautiful new girls to work for all customers every day. Anna is a Chinese girl with big breasts and beautiful figure, Cici is a Korean girl with good figure and gentle temperament, Jessica is a Taiwanese girl with fair skin and big breasts. If you are interested, please call 9052375885. Or send SMS to 4163565876.
  43. SugarLoveSpa:
    Tuesday at ❤️💙 💜⎝𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗔𝗥 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔⎠💖💗💘: MIMI, SASA & TIFFANY. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON ☎ 𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟯𝟲𝟱-𝟮𝟲𝟴𝟴 ☎ MIMI is a slim & busty Asian/Euro mix beauty, 50Kgs & 1M60. Mimi has a very versatile range of services. SASA is a Chinese girl, nice and friendly, a little shy but can do everything. TIFFANY is an amazing slim petite doll with natural 34C melons
  44. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇10am-2am, New First Day Slim Sexy Chinese Tina, Slim Petite Chinese Vivi & Sexy Slim Chinese Jenny all new Sexy Young Roster
  45. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️ (647) 891-9688☎️ ☎️ (416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 9:30am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Molly🔥😘An enchanting and skilled new Asian massage girl, known for her calming presence and soothing touch. Molly exudes an aura of serenity and grace. As she gently guides you through each movement, her soft hands apply just the
  46. See You Health Center:
    Natalie she is CBC/filipina mixed Petite school girl Judy is a gorgeous model type Vietnamese Girl She is 5’2”tall . 100Lbs, with D Cup Melons Cici Cute Skinny Sexy Vietnamese Girl With Voluptuous Huge C Melons Provides Amazing Service ☎️416-988-2950
  47. Lulu_Villa_Spa:
    Sami Gorgeous Model Type CBC Vietnamese School Girl Barbie Very Young, very Petite Korea Student With Perfect S shape type Spicy Smoking Hot Body Great BBBJ, CIM, GFE in Her menu Suki From Taiwan, sweet girl Sexy tight body amazing C cups with Those incredible nipples ☎️647- 446-0886
  48. Jenny’s Spa:
    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️( 647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️( 437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥TWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥 💯REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯 🔥TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: Julia😘 - A shy new Korean girl waiting
  49. wonderspa:
    . 🌺🌺Wonder spa,(9421Jane st unit127)call416-5000-800☎️best massage in vaughan,come visit us.4beautiful attendants ,Today and tomorrow RMT available,💄sexy very young girl Mimi,natural c cup,very good looking 💄Tina ,open mind she can provide good tissue massage and everything you need,💄very long hair Lucy can provide body slide ,BbJ,very popular beautiful girl 🍷🍷🥰must try
  50. AmoreSpaEtobicoke:
    AMORE SPA 127 Westmore Drive, Unit 106C Etobicoke, ON M9V 3Y6 ☎ 437-688-2407 ☎ TWO SPINNERS TODAY Tuesday at AMORE SPA: CHERRY(10AM-11pm) & Tiny Spinner LALA CHERRY is a proven superstar, Slim Asian with a pretty face, all natural A or B Cups, long nipples, slim waist & small round bum. Her services are legendary. Tiny LALA is an unbelievably good Superstar SPINNER, only 5’2”
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