B&A writers: Help with my villain? How to introduce him? I have a simple back

[?gl4597]

story but...? ...I'm not sure where to go with it, or how to tie it in to the main plot? The book is fantasy/sci-fi and it involves that over-used 'evil king' villain, but other than that I don't know where to go with this.

The plot is that a group of teenagers is sent from Earth to Novenio, a new planet, on a government mission because a terrible disease has broken out. Government officials select a compatible group of the brightest teenagers from all over the country. A NASA-type organization has found a new planet, very Earth-like. They send the group there to see if they can survive in those conditions, in the hope of repopulating this planet with humans because of the current disease ridden, over populated, polluted state of the Earth in this time. What the government on Earth doesn't know, though, it that there are already people there. The studies were rushed, and they were not aware that there was a civilization there.

On this planet Novenio there are very human-like people and it is overall very similar to Earth. The villain is out to get my main characters from the start.

The villain, Grayson Lane, had a father that was human (the first human ever on this planet) and a mother that was Novenion. The father was abusive to him and his mother, and the family was kept mostly in secret because they didn't want anyone to find out that there was a human and a 'half-breed' on Novenio. Finally when Grayson was 12, his mother simply left without a trace of where she had went, leaving Grayson with his abusive father. The abuse got worse until one day Grayson snapped and killed his own father. He was caught and sent to prison.
There he stayed (as a young teen) for several years. He told inmates that the current King was in cohorts with humans, and that humans are terrible creatures. He told others that the King was going to keep them locked up forever, and they had to act. Grayson wanted to take over. He recruited others for his cause to overthrow the king, promising to help them escape the prison and to have power in the new kingdom, in turn for their help in the attack.
They escaped successfully and attacked by surprise, taking over the kingdom. Having the control and power he lacked in his childhood, Grayson became power obsessed. He wanted others in the kingdom to suffer as he had, so it became a very dictatorship-like government. There are strict social classes, imprisonment, no freedoms, etc.
Grayson hated humans, so when he caught wind that a group had arrived on the planet, he set out to kill them.

That's my basic idea... he hates humans because of his father and doesn't want them to take over his kingdom. But I don't know how my main characters will come into that. I don't want them to just be running from Grayson and his supporters, I want them to fight back. It's hard to explain what I'm thinking, haha! This probably makes no sense at all.

Also, how do I introduce this background information on the villain? I want to have a reason why Grayson is evil, but how do I let the readers know without flat out telling them? How soon should I introduce the villain and how much information should I give?

So, does this sound completely stupid? Opinions on the villain?

Thanks in advance!

BQ: If you read/write fantasy, do you ever wonder about the logistics? Like I'm wondering how in book, on this faraway planet people speak English and can communicate with my characters from Earth.
Another example is when I read Harry Potter. There are spells for everything, yet Harry and Dumbledore both wear eye glasses? Couldn't their vision be easily corrected? Haha!

 

[Empire539]

First off, there are two major plot holes that you should address:
1) Why would an Earth government choose to send teenagers off to explore a new planet when more experienced adult astronauts would be better for the job? Surely this disease hasn't affected every able adult with the rigorous training necessary for space travel?
2) How does Grayson's father reach Novenio first? How/why do the people of Novenio hate humans enough to conspire against the King, when presumably, they don't know about Earth (or if they do, why not colonize it?), or are never introduced to humans (with the exception of Grayson's father, but you mentioned that his human species was kept secret)?

Ignoring the small "rushed studies" hole, I think this is a pretty good idea. If I were writing this, I would have the humans arrive on Novenio, and be surprised that the planet was already populated. Grayson himself goes to greet them (as if he was just another Novenion) and kindly offers to show them around the kingdom. They get to his palace/castle/residence, Grayson introduces himself as king, and offers them dinner. Here, Grayson tells about his past and how he became king (not specifically mentioning his father, though, just an "evil man", nor about his hatred of humans). The human visitors enjoy the dinner, thank him, and while they're outside the palace ready to leave, mention that they have to report back to Earth to tell the NASA-like organization that it's a perfectly hospital planet with friendly inhabitants. Grayson smiles, tells them, "I can't let you do that", explains why (can be either a real or fake reason), and throws them in the dungeons until he can figure out what next to do with them.

There, they meet some other prisoners which explains why the Novenions hate power (not necessarily why Grayson hates them). Somehow (up to you), the humans escape, and are on the lam. I was thinking that perhaps that their spacecraft could be what they need to reach in order to get the equipment necessary to fight back (or maybe, call back to Earth), perhaps join a group of Novenion rebels which hate Grayson for his dictatorship policies (though, not all the rebels necessarily like humans either), and go on from there.

So, don't reveal all the information in the beginning, just bits and pieces of it. The climax or late rising action is where all the pieces should come together and paint the whole picture. Obviously, Grayson's mother should make an appearance as well, perhaps to elaborate on the finer details.

Introduce Grayson in the chapter following the humans' landing on Novenio. Have him reveal his evil nature a couple chapters later.

BQ: Yes, I do, all the time. In fact, I have a friend that had written the first draft of a book where an alien general from another planet got hit on the head by some shrapnel and could only speak French from them on. The problem was, neither English nor French existed on those planets, so there's a huge plot hole right there. The reason why most people choose to ignore it is because having the main alien characters speak in their own language would require an English translation or force the reader to learn a new invented language, which neither the author nor reader wants to do.

I have seen very short phrases written in invented languages (like in Artemis Fowl, where the Gnommish people speak English, but also short curses in Gnommish). These never last more than a few words, though.