How can I introduce my girlfriend to my homophobic family?

[G?g?'? L???l? M???†?r ?]

I'm 16, bisexual, and recently one of my best friends and I (She's a girl too, also 16) have fallen in love and we're dating and have a great relationship and are totally happy. However, she wants to meet my family. She's met my mom plenty of times because we've been friends for a long time and she's come over a lot, but my mom has no idea we're dating now, and probably wouldn't like it. She isn't really homophobic towards gay men, it's just gay women she has a huge problem with (Which I don't understand) and will absolutely hit the roof if I announce to her that I have a girlfriend. And to make matters worse, the rest of my family, especially my grandfather, are all extremely homophobic and will probably beat me and kick me out if I told them I had a girlfriend. My girlfriends family, however, are very accepting and thinks it's beautiful that we've fallen in love :') What do I do? I can't hide the fact that I have a girlfriend forever. And on Facebook, my girlfriend keeps wanting me to change my relationship status to "In a Relationship" with her, but I have family on Facebook who if they see, will immediately rat me out. What do I do? No one knows about my sexuality by the way.

 

[nikel90]

im in the exact same situation, except im out to my friends and everyone, i think the only people who dont know are my family.
my honest advice would be to think about if its really the best thing to do at the moment, one day yes they are going to find out but until then why cause problems between you and your family? your girlfriend has to understand not everyone is as understanding as her family and accept that maybe your not ready to tell your family, and the fact your asking people advice shows that your not really ready.
if you think you can cope with what you'll get after coming out then go for it, but be prepared to feel pushed out or left, that might not happen, but by the sounds of it, it wont go down all that well with your family.
goodluck with whatever you chose

 

[katie.]

First thing is that you have to let your family know about your sexuality.
Sit your mum down, and explain to her in a calm tone about your sexuality. DO NOT do it in a kind of rebellious, confrontational way. If she tries to argue with you, keep your calm and just explain to her that your sexuality is something that you're comfortable with and can't change and wouldn't wish to change if you could, and that she will just have to accept it.
Then let the rest of your family know. The most important thing is that YOU keep calm, even if they aren't, but if it gets to the point that you think they might try to hit you or hurt you otherwise, leave. Don't put yourself in that danger.

After you've explained your sexuality to your family, and they've had time to let it sink in and accept it, introduce your girlfriend to them. Explain to her, if she doesn't already know, that your family aren't too comfortable with you having a girlfriend and both of you need to keep calm, try not to get into arguments or debates with your family, try to keep it a nice, friendly atmosphere, and be on your best behaviour - this will help to make a better impression.

I hope this helps, and that you two are very happy together and have a lovely, long relationship

 

[Skwerl]

In your situation, I think it'd be best to just NOT tell them. And you don't really have to keep a secret FOREVER. Just wait in two years until you're out of the house to tell 'em.

 

[JerzJigga]

great question!!
it took me about 2 yrs to tell my family. i was scared my mother would disown me...my stepfather would rebuke satan from me (lolz...b/c hes SUPER religious).
but u know wut, i waited until i was ready and i told my mother first. she is the more understanding of the 2. she was so ok with it, that it surprised me.
but u r young, if u feel u would get KICKED out or banned from ur family, maybe u should wait awhile.
if ur girlfriend was your close friend, she should be the MOST understanding of your situation. therefore coming out to your family can wait. sit down with your girlfriend and tell her why you cant tell your family.,
as for facebook...tell ur gfriend that you do not live your life for the world to see. your rship w her should be special. but special is NOT equivalent to PUBLIC. tell her she should NOT feel any less than special JUST b/c u cant change your status.
good luck
far as ur gdad...he comes from a WHOLE other time when homosexuality was NOT ok and was very rare. so he will probably never accept it.
give your mom some time. maybe drop lil hints or ask her little questions or speak to her like "hey mom...one of these girls at my school is like a lesbian. and she was at school hysterical b/c when she told her parents, they kicked her out. now she has nowhere to stay..." THATS AN EXAMPLE

 

[Shilo Black]

sadly I'm in the same situation

 

[jason-q]

Phobic is a fear suffix. It is not a suffix of disgust or disapproval.