How NOT to write a Web posting

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Tang

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I almost feel bad for posting this myself, but I actually got a few laughs out of it. Hopefully someone else will, too.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/massage-chair-help-too-reduce-pain

THIS is why non writers need to know that they can't do it all. Hire a pro.

tpn- former journalist and word wizard
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

Ugh! That was painful! I could only get through the first few sentences! I'm a self-proclaimed wordsmith myself, so it 'grates' on me to see the language mutilated like that!! :smt013
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

That just has to be someone running a non-English article through a bad translator program, either that or English is not their first language!
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

Wow.. just needs a lil bit of my southern slang and it'll be plum purfect! lol
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

kathryn said:
That just has to be someone running a non-English article through a bad translator program, either that or English is not their first language!

This is exactly what I was thinking! Ouch!
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

I read the whole thing. The author has two other (equally bad) articles on that site. I saw no way to report the articles to SelfGrowth. Clearly they don't bother to look at the "content" submitted on their site. This is not the first time I've seen such horrible articles, or (in other cases) outright piracy of intellectual property by SelfGrowth "experts". :smt011

It's too bad, because they do have some excellent content by people that can write well about various topics. Exceptions like these drag the whole site down because they might be the first (and LAST) time someone visits to find info on a topic.
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

JasonE said:
I read the whole thing. The author has two other (equally bad) articles on that site. I saw no way to report the articles to SelfGrowth. Clearly they don't bother to look at the "content" submitted on their site. This is not the first time I've seen such horrible articles, or (in other cases) outright piracy of intellectual property by SelfGrowth "experts". :smt011

It's too bad, because they do have some excellent content by people that can write well about various topics. Exceptions like these drag the whole site down because they might be the first (and LAST) time someone visits to find info on a topic.
Shame.. I consider myself to be a decent (or at least understandable) writer and would never post on that site because I wouldn't want to be affiliated with the "other" articles.
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

What is "yabo paper"?? I saw way too many made up words! Yikes!
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

This does read like a poorly translated article. While useful for minor translations, most online translating tools don't have the finesse to translate entire articles. I saw this youtube video a few days after it came out, describing a way to accurately translate the entire internet into as many languages as possible for free:

"Luis von Ahn, the man who brought the world CAPTCHA and reCAPTCHA unveiled his newest and most innovative project to date: Duolingo. How can you translate the entire internet and do it for free? Duolingo will be a revolutionary product in which millions of internet users from around the world will work together to translate the internet and learn a new language at the same time. All for free."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQl6jUjFjp4

I might make another post on this in off-the-table. It deserves an autonomous mention.
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

my other job is journalist/ marketing (don't we all flee?).
I actually was delighted by some turns of phrase.
not the article, mind you.
and the professional writer eforum.xxx at the bottom.
yeah..... I felt the same way reading that as I do when people make happy ending comments about massage.
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

truepeacenik said:
yeah..... I felt the same way reading that as I do when people make happy ending comments about massage.
My brother just did that today, and he couldn't understand why I didn't find his "joke" even remotely amusing. Maybe he'll back off them a bit if I introduce him to my male colleagues. Should paint a disturbing mental picture for a hetero man, neh? :altsmile:
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

moogie said:
MarionFM said:
Chinese English is my guess!

My thought as well.

LOL me too! Known as "Engrish"

If you liked that, you'll think this is funny, too...

http://engrishfunny.failblog.org/

I sit back on the couch with my laptop while we're watching TV and every so often I'll start howling...it'll be from that blog LOL
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

Sorry to hijack this thread, but it was the first thing I thought of after seeing the below while perusing some older craigslist ads:

cheap full body massage no gimics (manchester)
Date: 2011-04-10, 3:30AM EDT

Hello
my name is josh and i recently got my massage licience And i am looking for clients... I have an office picked out to start my practice, however im lacking in funds... I was top of my class and have been told i have magic hands. I practice a wide range of massages includeing efflaroge, petrasage, deep tissue, sports massage, and many more. An adverage massage is 60/hr but right now im taking apts for me to come to you with my table and give massages... I will charge 30/hr half off and if you recieve at least two massages before i get my shop the 30/hr will remain ur price for as long as your a cutomer... I specialize in female tissue work but also provide adiquit service to males as well. I am professional and clean cut and am only 23... So i have plunity of energy to get the job done.. Any questions/apt scheduleing call Or txt joshua xxxxxxxx at..

xxx-xxx-xxxx


:shocked:

It was posted in the beauty section, so there may actually be a chance that he was legitimate. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. :roll:
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

The authors name is Rohit Sharma. It's a Middle Eastern name. I thought it sounded a little like those bad English scam emails.
 
How NOT to write a Web posting

akashafive said:
Sorry to hijack this thread, but it was the first thing I thought of after seeing the below while perusing some older craigslist ads:

cheap full body massage no gimics (manchester)
Date: 2011-04-10, 3:30AM EDT

Hello
my name is josh and i recently got my massage licience And i am looking for clients... I have an office picked out to start my practice, however im lacking in funds... I was top of my class and have been told i have magic hands. I practice a wide range of massages includeing efflaroge, petrasage, deep tissue, sports massage, and many more. An adverage massage is 60/hr but right now im taking apts for me to come to you with my table and give massages... I will charge 30/hr half off and if you recieve at least two massages before i get my shop the 30/hr will remain ur price for as long as your a cutomer... I specialize in female tissue work but also provide adiquit service to males as well. I am professional and clean cut and am only 23... So i have plunity of energy to get the job done.. Any questions/apt scheduleing call Or txt joshua xxxxxxxx at..

xxx-xxx-xxxx


:shocked:

It was posted in the beauty section, so there may actually be a chance that he was legitimate. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. :roll:
That's an interesting one. I'd hope that someone who went through all the training would be able to write better, but I'm an idealist sometimes...
 
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    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️ (647) 891-9688☎️ ☎️ (416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 9:30am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Feifei😘Our new Taiwanese beauty Feifei specializes in creating an intimate and deeply relaxing massage experience tailored to your desires. Her soft, skilled hands glide effortlessly, easing tension and awakening your senses with
  43. HolidaySpa:
    Monday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️:JENNIFER, LILY & CINDY. JENNIFER is slim and curvy, with long dark hair, land nice services. Lily is a young, extremely sexy Vietnamese beauty, very slender, standing 5’4” with perky C Cups, slim waist, amazing ass, & model walk. Lily is a real beauty who can make you very satisfied.
  44. AliceSpa:
    MONDAY at 𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔, 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟮𝟵𝟴-𝟬𝟴𝟵𝟴. 3 Sexy Young Girls Today at Alice Spa. Open 10am to 9pm : BEBE (10am-9pm) : is a nice young Korean girl with a natural super busty DD Cup, petite small body, open minded bbby cim cof rim, always cooperative, excellent services. BELLA (10am-9pm) : is a young & pretty Taiwanese girl, busty D Cup, curvy body, deep bbbj
  45. JerryWangWw:
    Suko spa every day have 7 different masseuse working here please call 905-597-8880 💋 💋💋🤩🤩🥰🥰💖💖
  46. Eva Vivian - Elegant Asian Sweetheart:
    💯🔥😘I’m Eva Vivian, your independent open minded slim sexy massage girl available working in Scarborough and North York. Available to provide you massage and extra services at Hawaii Health Spa in Scarborough and Greenway Spa in North York💯🔥😘 RED ROSE HEALTH SPA: ✅Red Rose Health Spa @ 2 Invergordon Avenue in Scarborough✅ ☎️416-292-1268☎️ 💯Vivian available every Sunday and Monday from 10am to 9pm💯 ☎️Call Red Rose Health Spa 416-292-1268 to book appointment with Vivian☎️ 💋Every m
  47. SugarLoveSpa:
    Monday at ❤️💙 💜⎝𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗔𝗥 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔⎠💖💗💘: ELLA, HELLEN & TIFFANY. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON ☎ 𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟯𝟲𝟱-𝟮𝟲𝟴𝟴 ☎ ELLA is a lovely Thai sweetheart, 5’1” with C Cups, smooth skin and a very pleasing attitude. HELLEN is a young & friendly lady with nice boobs and a slim body. She can do slide & daty & perform all kinds of services. LUCY is a cute young Viet
  48. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇10am-2am, Slim Petite Chinese Vivi & Slim Sexy Chinese Coco & Young Slim Sexy Chinese Jasmine
  49. Golden Sunshine Spa:
    ✨Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates and special services ! ✅ Today🌸Lynda🌸Yoyo🌸Tiffany🌸Nina🌸Bree Call us ☎ 905 - 265 - 2158☎️ Your ultimate service awaits! ✨
  50. Soul Relax Spa:
    ✨ Looking for a relaxing escape? ✅ Meet🌸Brandy🌸Ivy🌸KimCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now ☎ 289 - 298 - 5662☎️ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! ✨
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