Mila from Suburban, Mirror

[Alexa.Ann]

Flicking through the Mirror, came across Mila who professes to be 36 and a classy Jewish lady for massage and foor fetish. Decided to try something different.

She is a good saleperson on the phone. $55 for everything that you will need is how she describes her service. "I can offer more but most people are happy with $55. Come on. You wont be disappointed"

Lots of security to find her. Call from outside the building, then call from inside where she can see on the cameras I guess.

Its a quiet apartment building close to CDN. It turned out to be a bizarrely entertaining visit. So, she welcomes me to what would best be described as her grotto. Dark and packed with ornaments and stuff. A budgie flying around ("that fucking bird shits everywhere" she says).

Wearing lingerie, she has a nice pair of 36DDs and certainly wouldn't be described as skinny. Could lose a few pounds but the jugs are not bad. Probably mid 40s rather than 36 but so far so good. Took my clothes off and lie down on the bed, and she starts talking, and talking and talking and talking. Blah blah.

She has a massage certificate on the wall, but as she talks, the massage on the bed only lasts a couple of minutes. Says that hard to do a decent massage on the bed, and launched into some lengthy story about a massage table that I tuned out on. Blah blah blah. Ok, time to flip now. Blah blah. She says that she knows that men don't come here for the back massage. Hah hah blah blah. Flip. Blah blah.

Sits herself between my legs with her feet next to her chest and gets down to business. Blah blah. Describes the size of customers 'penis' (big and small), their various fetishes, life in Canada vs Russia, how much customers pay and tip. Blah blah. Then starts to describe her Arab friend who likes to take 'penis' every-which way. 'Maybe I introduce you to her for some fun next time. she loves penis. My customers love her' blah blah. At one point she did stop talking for a couple of seconds and I thought I had gone deaf.

Well, whilst talking, she did give a marvelous HJ, blah blah. 'you nice man. next time you can play with my boobies. Maybe more'. Cleans up and carries on talking for a few minutes. She doesn't hang around. All done in well under half an hour including a 3 hour monologue.

Mila isn't shy, and can she talk (and talk fast)... I still laugh about snippets of her diatribe as I remember them. Think of it as $55 for a half hour hilarious monologue with a happy ending. Well worth it, although next time I may take earlplugs.

 

[mlinda]

Do you have a telephone numnber?

 

[natural horse]

More importantly, does she have a telephone number?
I couldn't care less if tugboat has a telephone number.

 

[OscarMeyerRina<3]

Man... that was too funny. I'm still cracking up.

By the way... her number is (514) 817 7708

 

[Yeaa boiii]

Great review tugboat! Funny as hell! Thanks.

 

[NONAME]

I meant if he had her telephone number?

 

[Angeliyah]

That's pretty much the same experience I had. Only with me she was complaining about difficult menstrual cramps. A few months I thought of going back and woke her up at 11 AM. She told me she was suffering from a difficult period and I should call back later in the day. Didn't call back and have little interest in giving her another shot.

 

[old doughboy]

"Then starts to describe her Arab friend who likes to take 'penis' every-which way. 'Maybe I introduce you to her for some fun next time. she loves penis."


Well, this is intriguing. Wonders if her friend is worth a visit.

 

[Heda]

30 minutes of BLAH BLAH! Great review, I've had the experience but it was called marriage! Could you have with-stood a full hour? Bring on "I want penis" friend, have them do each other and maybe she will stop talking.

Later...SD

 

[Morpheus]

Any contact info for her?

 

[Greta]

Check post #4

 

[Willbewill]

Shoot...sorry...I missed that....thanks.

 

[darkness234]

Just paid a visit to Mila, mainly with the idea of inquiring about the arab friend.

Hard to understand on the phone where she lives as she talks so fast and non-stop, my average brain got clogged up many times and my ears then quit working, a survival reflex acquired during my mariage.

Took the elevator to the 18th floor, knocked on her opened door and she shouted "come in" from somewhere. I stepped in a she comes running to stop me from walking in with my shoes and greeted me with a "mon amor", the only one and a half french words she knows besides "masturbation" that she dropped during our phone conversation. My first thought was, short girl. Then she stepped down from her 4 inches heels. And she goes. Good thing I'm not much of a talker because she NEVER stops.

The back massage lasted like 3 minutes (recommendation : just lay on your back right away). Flip. She goes at it. As already described in tugboat's post, she sit under my legs with her legs along my body. I'm not a feet guy, but she has beautiful little feet. She invited me to discover her breast. I went for it but big, sagging tits are not my type. Despite the fact I had told her I wanted this to last, she did her best to have me spill my load quickly. Not that she was in a rush to kick me out, I spent the next 20 minutes listening to her. She just didn't go to Maylee's school. Too bad.

Now, the arab friend. While she was working on MY friend, she introduced the arab "that would like my penis so much, and she is cheap, very very cheap, and she takes it all in her mouth, and I could arrange a meeting with her for you, and I could be watching". Very very cheap means $80, massage and BJ included. Cheap indeed.

Mila is 39 y/o, russian, jewish russian, barely 5' tall, with brown hair and brown eyes (not your classic tall blonde russian). The arab friend is 36, and I'm invited to an encouter with her at Mila's place. Maybe sometime. Will let you know for sure.

Foot fetish guys, this girl might be for you. Particularly if you are deaf.

No rating of any kind here. Don't envision it as a sensual experience, this is not. I went out of curiosity and she is a special breed, that's for sure.


P.S. : tugboat, marvelous HJ is somewhat of a strong statement, IMHO. She gets the job done, period. And no more mileage avalaible, with her that is. The arab friend ...

 

[lduncan00]

Ahhh...Timing is everything they say... I should have seen her 3 weeks ago when I had a severely blocked left ear,at l east the "verbal misery level" would have been down 50%

I never saw her but from the past posts, I think this "arab friend" thing is a ploy to get you to go back and see her.... I think she may be a slightly kinky, low-mileage provider and uses this sales pitch to get you and your hard-on to repeat.

Again, just my opinion but something to think about, no...?

 

[Dr. Evil]

SeinSeeker, I don't think the arab friend is a trick. This girl talks much faster than she thinks. I am curious about that arab, would like to give her a try, but have other projects for the near future and not enough time to realize them all.

One thing is sure, the arab friend gives a better massage than Mila.

 

[goddesskieryn]

So anyone see this Arab friend? I saw Mila once, it was ok, maybe a repeat if she could massage while the arab friend gives me a BJ.

 

[USMCwife]

I saw her post on CL and, without the fore thought to consult here first, called.

Wow, it was the single most bizzar phone conversation of my life, she spoke so fast I had to ask her to repeat herself a number of times...she has an interesting sense of humor..."Oh Darling I talk to fast sometime maybe, or maybe you listen to slow HAHAHAHA!!! So you come to see me or you "cumming to see me...HAHAHAHA" Let it was on to the foot thing..."You like feet baby" Ummm, no...."OK you like my big boobies, I maybe let you touch, maybe more"

That little voice inside my head was screaming, sadly I had him locked inside my clear plastic box as I ws horny as hell, and she was cheap, $65 all in, and free right now..."Well not free baby, will cost you $65, but is almost free"...her sense of humor was getting on my nerves!

So, she gives me direction to her place, call her once I am such and such a street...which I do, only to be told, "You closer now...now go to such and such street" Ok I think, she does not bother to mention the road work going on that causes you to need to make a number of detours and, if you are unsure where the street is, as I was, you miss it twice, and need to redo the whole bloody detour and then some, 20 minutes later I am finally outside the building...call again, "Ok now you call once inside baby"...unhun.

I call her again inside the building...she gives me the code, say to call it, all while talking nonsense to me, as I zoned out long ago.

So, while on the phone with her, I enter the door code...it obviously goes through the phone lines, as her phone beeps, and she tells me, hold on, I got other call...it was ME trying to get into the building...so in answering the door code, she hangs up on me!!!! BUT, the door buzzer goes off, so I open the door...on the ride up she calls me back and says sorry for hanging up on me....and asked when I will be there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I had a little strock at that comment...I told her I was on my way up, to which I got her amazed voice, "Right NOW" she yells, yes I say, she hangs up on me again.

I get to the door, it is slightly ajar and I knock, come in from somewhere within the place...I open the door and it is like Hugh Hefners dream mansion only on LSD, plants EVERYWHERE, animal prints EVERYWHERE, that same damn bird flying around, he is 12 years old it seems and has a love hate relationship with her, and it can swear in Russin.

She leads me to the bedroom, asking me if I need to "Peepee or kaka" before we start, nope I'm good, lets get this adventure going babe is all I am thinking. Into the bedroom we go, she tells me to get undressed, commenting the whole time, nice underware, oh you have nice chest, strong legs, you work out, nice penis, I will love to touch it...she NEVER stops talking, I think she must breath through her ears cause it is NON STOP!!!!

So, lay on your front she tells me, she spirts a bit of oil runs her fingers over me, 30 seconds later it is turn over...honestly, if you go, don't even both with the joke of laying face down, just lay on your back to start and go from there.

As reported by others, she gets right between your lets and goes to work...all the while talking talking talking...then she tells me about this Morocan girl working for her whoe does it all FS, BBBJ, takes all your cock in her mouth, even does CIM if you have nice clean penis...takes it in ass like pig she is, and more I am told...the only thing, she wont do jews I am told...and then the jew jokes start....all this while she is jerking me off!!!!!!!

Then she goes into the long rant about people being dirty, their clothes being dirty, their shoes being nasty, BTW guys she is anal about you taking your shoes off at the door, and you need to place your clothes in a special place so as not to make her place dirty or leave "bugs"

She keeps on about the dirty people, "You have good penis, want to play with my boobies", she pulls em out, so why not...still on about the dirt, but not me, I am clean and she likes that, next time I come to cum she says, "I give you good price $50 for everything, maybe we bring in my girl she do you, I watch, all FS for $80, that good price for you, you nice man, nice penis, have respect for me and my place, we make good deal"

At this point I need to cum to get the hell out of this place as I feel more and more of my brain dying slowly as she droons on and on and on about nonsense!!!!!!

I play with her boobs close my eyes and go into vapor lock, within seconds pop goes the little man and all is well!!!!

She uses an obscene amount of baby wipes to clean me up, then leaves the wad of them on my cock, gets up, leaves the room and goes to wash her hands, telling me I can get dressed now...ummmmm ok...she tells me not to let the baby wipes touch her bed or floor, ok, ummmm where is the trash then, I don't have one in the room she says....ok, manage to get dressed while holding this wad of wet baby wipes, walk out into the hall, she is still talking about God knows what, put my shoes on she kisses me I say goodbye, she says to come again, meet her girl, maybe we all fuck, have a good night bye closes the door....

I am halfway to the fucking elevator when I realize I still have this massive wad of cum filled baby wipes in my hand!!!!! WTF, how did that happen, her non stop talking put me into a coma that made my mind shut down is how!!!

WOW

She is by no means 36, more like 42 or so, she was wearing a black teddy, she is not thin, but not really fat, she is simply built like a normal 40 something woman...she wears a bit too much make-up for my taste, and WAY to much cheap perfume. Her hair was in some sort of pulled back head band thing that made her look like she was in the middle of getting ready to put on make up to go out when I saw her, it was kind of odd.

She is by no means pretty, but she is not ugly either if that makes sense...she is just all around average.

She offers a very no nonsense service, while the add runs on the theraputic side of CL she has no illusions as to why men go to see her...and she goes right to business more or less. You will NEVER get a full hour out of her, and her massage is, well the only thing to get rubber with any amount of oil is as she puts it, the nice penis so there is no friction...she does not like guys who hold out too long before cumming, she says the ideal amount of time is between 5-7 minutes and then cum, longer and she gets boared and sore and tired, too soon and she does not get to enjoy it, believe it or not, she gets off on watching you blow your load on her hand, and she rubes her tits and plays with herself as you cum, so she does seem to be into it.

All around, an odd way to spend a half hour on a Sunday night...odd enough to almost make me want to go back and find out more!

 

[veritypendragon]

that was hilarious, thanks for the laugh. where is this anyways?

 

[hex]

Greenman's post must be one of the top 10 in history. Good work!

 

[Gonzalez]

Few posts actually have me laughing... but this one does. Actually, this whole thread is a winner.