My boyfriend of three years won't introduce me to his parents?

[casey]

Ive been dating my boyfriend for three years and he still hasn't introduced me to his parents yet. I am so angry, i feel like im angry for nothing. Hes parents hate me because im white and he is Muslim/asian.

What the hell do i do? He has met my entire family from both sides. I feel like im wasting my time. He's parents will never accept me and i will not convert to Muslim to get picked on for being white during the whole marriage.

 

[Mindy]

Whoa. I have BEEN there. I dated a Muslim from Pakistan for a year. I was a secret from his entire family the whole time. He never intended to introduce me to his family or get serious with me. I was his play thing until he went away to medical school. He lived in New York, I lived in Pennsylvania.

You said it yourself: his parents will never accept you. You ARE wasting your time.

I don't know how he treats you, but my ex wasn't exactly very nice to me towards the end of our relationship. The keeping me a secret from his family was just one part of it. He was crazy obsessive and controlling...meanwhile he was cheating on me the entire time (even though I was 100% faithful to him and was accused of cheating daily). Oh and by the way, he had other girlfriends as well. That could very well be another reason he didn't want to introduce me to his family.

Get out while you can, girl. You have no future with this guy. Face it.

 

[Mark]

stop wasting your time & date someone else !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YmMNpbFjp0

 

[kateosunshine]

Is he worth never meeting his parents? It depends how much you want to meet them. If you feel you NEED to meet them and he is set on keeping you away then either leave. But if you don't feel you need to meet them then put up with it. If he loves you enough he'll let you meet his parents, true love comes before family's approval.

 

[Michael M]

I of course don't know your bf. But I will tell you about other Muslim men I have known (and men from other cultures as well) who have dated western women. This may or may not apply to your situation, but at the very least is might be worth thinking about.

As others have said, your bf is breaking Muslim law simply by dating an unbeliever. Why would a Muslim man do that?

Well, he might be a "liberal" Muslim who is rebelling against tradition, but if so I would think that he WOULD have introduced you to his parents by now. If he is hiding this relationship from them, then he is probably NOT filled with strong convictions about dating you. So I would reject this explanation.

He might be hoping to convert you to Islam. Since that is not an option for you, I would break off the relationship.

Or....he might be like too many men I have known who come from cultures in which male/female behavior is very regulated. The men I am thinking about have had the attitude, "Hey, western women are so sexually free! I will have fun with them before I settle down and enter into a traditional marriage according to my people's traditions." I have seen this not just with Muslims, but with men who were raised in traditional Japanese society too. (Of course, there are plenty of devout nonhypocritical Muslim men too, but they are probably not going to be sneaking around hiding a taboo relationship from their parents!)

Again, I cannot presume that this is what your bf is up to. If he is just using you in this way, that has got to be a very painful thing for you to deal with. I hope it is not the case that he is like this, but as I suggested earlier...it is worth thinking about, even if to convince yourself it is not true.

How do you know his parents hate you? If you have never met them and this is based purely on what he has told you, that could mean that they do not even know about you and he is playing games with you by telling you this. On the other hand, if you have met them and you have felt that animosity yourself, that counts in his favor as far as truthfulness goes.
I wish you the best.

 

[JCee]

ask your bf "what do you think of us 5 years later?"

see how does he think

then you can decide if still tgt or not...

 

[joe]

muslim asian...... what a mixture

 

[Ryan]

Talk to him about it. I'm sure you have but let him know that it really bothers you. It obviously bothers him too but don't give him a hard time or anything because obviously he is going against what his parents want so he can be with you. Sounds like he loves you

 

[Sasha]

For one he should not be ashamed to allow you to meet your parents. Maybe it could be that his parents doesn't like you and he doesn't want you to be embarrassed. All in all if you love him and WANT to convert for him in order to be married. Then do it. Screw what his parents think. They don't have to love or like you. But eventually they will have to accept you. At the end of the day you should NEVER let anyone come between the one you love or else your enemies will triumph.