Teaching kids values.

[Anonstar]

This may not be the site to vent but here it is anyway.

I am fustrated and fed up. I have a slight OCD streak in me. I know I have high standard for everything. I run into a lot of issues when it comes to the my kids. They are 8 & 5, good kids, well disciplined, top of their classes, ect. How on earth do I get themm to understand that value in (material) things.

For example, my daughter(8) ruined every pair of shoes she owns by crushing the back of them so the backs are all broke and flat. This drives me insane because now she looks like a slob when she wears them and then they tear and she needs new ones.

I just cut myself down to two jobs last October and finally paid off all my debt. I am not willing to throw $40-60 out the window on her shoes all the time. Same thing goes with DVD's they leave them out and then they get scratched. I could keep listing things that they wear and tear faster then I would like.

I understand that kids do things and ruin things but that doesn't ever make it okay especially when they have been taught and taught and shown how to treat and care for things. Basically I need some advice, How do I teach them value of property and themselves in general.

I want to teach them in a positve way but I know I don't always stay positive, I sure try but my need for perfection gets in my way and my temper boils up and I yell at them and then I am not teaching them anything but anger. I want them to have a lot of respect and a good self esteem. Help and Thank you.

 

[Raisin]

teach them to fish

 

[hooba booba]

Care to explain why :???: :neutral:

 

[Pompal 09.]

Sure

teach them what is important in life and stop focusing on the little things.

 

[T. Le]

Take away the dvds, and start buying her shoes at Walmart. When she objects, explain that once she has proven herself capable of taking care of cheap shoes, then she might get the expensive ones again. Seriously, $40-$60 is a lot to spend on shoes for an 8yo.

If you want them to respect you and have good self-esteem, you'll need to get control of your own behavior first. Kids learn self-control by witnessing it.

I don't mean to sound harsh, kids can be really frustrating.

 

[Lemony]

Tell them you'll sell them :beurk:

OK, too many beers.

 

[Micah M]

Don't you hate it when you call or text them, their phone is off. But once they want to get a ride home it miraculous is on?

 

[Sarah Maddison]

Kids that are 8 are not adults. You can not treat them as if they are.

From what you say they sound like good kids. Be happy for that. Are they healthy and bright and play well with others? Be happy for that.

Sometimes, telling them what you want them to do in a different way will make an impression. Tell them you get frustrated when you see their shoes getting beat up. As oppossed to saying "Don't wreck your new shoes!"

Praise is a wonderful tool. Find a way to praise their good behaviour, no matter how small.

 

[Rah-rah <3]

Yes you are right but you also have to be firm and tough with their bad behaviour. Even at eight years old.

 

[hanoverianluvr95]

It is tough to teach the value of a dollar to a 8 year old. Make her do chores, pay her a couple of dollars per day or week and when she has enough she can buy her own shoes.

 

[Rob]

as long as you are making her buy necessities, do not forget charge her for meals