When he says his wife....

[confusion girl -hayley]

I've had this happen too but I think that they were getting massage for completely legitimate reasons but their wives are crazy and think otherwise.  I don't think it's a case of the wives getting angry 'cause they are selfish, I think it's the wives are thinking that massage is not appropriate.  I think people have a right to their privacy and if they don't want someone to know they've had a massage, it's none of my business to tell anyone.  That's on him.  Of course I'm not saying that it's ok to be sneaky behind a spouses back but some spouses are crazy.....guess they shouldn't have got married in the first place but it's too late for that.  

 

[Crazy Baboon!]

Can't you use cream or lotion that will absorb more readily into the skin?  I agree that it is not our place to decide whether this wife is suspicious for no reason.  Our client has every right to keep this appt. from his wife for whatever his reasons are, assuming they are legitimate above board reasons (not that he's looking for sexual pleasure).  She may think massage is sexual.  She may be jealous about someone else touching her man.  She may prefer the money be spent elsewhere.  I don't think it's our place to get involved.I would try to gently find out why she would get upset though.  If it is that she is uneducated about massage, perhaps it is a wonderful opportunity to turn her around.  Also, if she is insanely jealous, then you'd be wise to be on your guard.  What if she found out about it and came after YOU?  But, if she doesn't want him going for massage because she'd rather he be buying her jewelry, then it really isn't our business.  

 

[cupcake]

When he says his wife....

All my clients are men and, I've had men say the same type of things to me.I roll my eyes internally. :Usually I say nothing. :-XI can't say anything to him that will make him change his mind about what he thinks he is doing. Even though I Only offer Therapeutic, non-sexual massages.A lot of guys come to me who don't want their partners to know they have been visiting a massage therapist for whatever reason. Maybe, they don't want their wife to know about the psychologist or ice cream store or whatever they may have been visiting too.Honestly, it's none of my business unless it affects the massage session. It it affects the massage session, then it has to be resolved. Maybe, they don't share as much intimacy as the most intimate couples do. I am not a psychologist and I can't pretend to be one if I am only there to massage them.If the man has extra concern about massage oil affecting his relationship with his wife, then you may want to really consider helping him to realize a body that has been cleansed of as much of the massage oil and cremes from your massage as possible.Minimize scents too.If you have a shower available, let him know about it.Some possible solutions are a wet washcloth with witch hazel, or even just plain water (preferably warm). Drying him off after each side with a pillow case or, Viva paper towels or, other towels and cleansing cloths.Some people are just the way they are and you can't change them.Treat them with respect for their decisions and do your best to make them happy and Clean, therapeutically.Other: Massage him dry as much as possible, minimal oil or unscented skin creme, IF his skin is very healthy and you are very careful.

 

[Ticallion Stallion]

What do you say when a guy comes in and wants you to not use oil because his wife will get mad if she found out he had a massage?  

If the guy is not a sleaze, I would be happy to reply, "we'll use lotion instead".There are so many people out there who don't have happy homes.  There are so many people out there who have spouse's and significant others who are jealous to the core, no matter if they have a legitimate reason or not.  If the client wants a legitimate massage, then I am happy to keep it private.  Privacy practices are on our doorstep anyway in todays world.  What business is it of mine if the client doesn't want their family to know that they get bodywork?  Well, it does help me know where not to call, and where not to send mailers.  :-/If we are giving proper care, then part of that is listening to the client.  Client says "family should not know", then the family should not know, in my opinion.If we aren't happy with this, then I think we are putting our moral values on that particular relationship, and that is not our place.  If so, then the best thing to do would be to refer the client to a different therapist.  It will keep our "upset" factor at a minimum that way and give us better ability to help our other clients, because we are not holding that frustration.Just my opinion. Hope it helps!

 

[Lily<33]

When he says his wife....

i hear that to. plus i have guys that call that dont want to give out their phone numbers, some dont want to give out their names. i wont deal with those types. here in atlanta when you get calls like they most offten they are looking for more than just a massage..