BPDguy
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- Dec 22, 2009
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sufferers have newbie tips? I never believed in mental health until tonight. I have been pretty outspoken about it too...Way to sell drugs, label problem kids, label natural human emotions as disorders, not a real science, etc. For 11 years now though, every aspect of my life...work, relationships, self-esteem has just been "whack" Lol. I was diagnosed with depression but never took my medicine for it because I just didn't agree with the psychiatrist nor the symptoms. I was then diagnosed with bipolar disorder and everyone I did confide this in agreed whole heartedly that they suspected that as well. I didn't ever start my bipolar meds even though my parents told me they'd help me get better. I just couldn't take the drugs when I would go over and over the symptoms and realized that even though I suffered from them, it was a real stretch in my head to identify with the symptoms (instead of YES it was more like, yea I guess I feel like that) and silently have rejected (for 8 yrs) that I'm bipolar or that any of this mumbo jumbo exists and haven't sought help since other than a counselor to talk to and codependents anonymous after a traumatic experience while looking for someone who could really understand my mind's workings. The counselor (though an AMAZING and loving person and counselor) didn't fix the underlying problem...I know she wasn't a psychiatrist and not able to make judgement as one...kind of like an alcoholic quitting alcohol but never addressing WHY they drink. So I've still been searching for the reason I find myself in the situations I do everyday. Finally tonight I randomly saw something that said borderline personality disorder BPD on the net and clicked it and went through about 15 sites with symptoms and stories. I don't understand the physiological reasons for BDP but I am very emotional now because for the first time in all these years every symptom I read is a YES, I FEEL THAT WAY EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE...THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I TREAT PEOPLE...THAT IS JUST HOW I COPE...My first question is how often are people (non-hypochondriacs lol) right about their own mental health diagnosis? Is it enough to say that for the first time in my life I identify with these words and not a few 20 minute meetings as a teenager with a pricey psychiatrist I can trust that this is probably my diagnosis? Also, I know that the literature says treatment can be lengthy...well, I can't afford this so how often are people able to read, self help, counseling, open up to others, etc after just one meeting with a psych to get neuroleptic drugs? Does anyone have BPD and take something that works well for them? I am so relieved I heard about this never-mentioned disorder and so comforted that I read my daily sufferings written down by another human being so I won't even go through the details or stories since I'm sure if you have BPD, you know exactly what you do to keep this cycle going of painful situations and you know we could write a book.