Personally I can't see a lot of difference between the two points of view as Ref sees them. I think the greatest mind massageplanet.net has ever laid claim to as one of its own, Zen Master Poolie, made a good starting point for discussion about whether you can truly separate the physical realm from the psychological realm with regards to sex and its motivating factors. It is obvious to me the two character types Ref portrayed represents a sort of inner feud within Ref where his masculine side feels overpowered by his feminine side and need for emotional intimacy whereby a restoration of balance is achieved in his world through projection and contempt of others who he perceives as having similar weaknesses to his own which he refers to as the cuddler type john and by distancing himself through overcompensation and association with the pornstar fucking john such that he doesn't have to embrace and accept the deeper emotional feelings he is at some level aware of thereby feeling vulnerable and perhaps weaker in the process of doing so at least initially but which would ironically give him a source of inner strength and peace later on because of a better awareness of the person he has become.