If I was rich I would make massages a regular feature of my wellness routine.
Sadly, I'm not rich, and treat myself to a massage once a year at most - but there really isn't anything quite like it.
I love the feel of the warm oil, the gentle kneading on your back and the way you feel so much lighter after you leave.
So when I was booked in for a Russian sculpting massage at a fancy Chelsea spa I was very excited - and at £150 I expected great things.
Arriving at the spa, Monnáy, I was not disappointed - it looked fancy.
I was warmly welcomed and my coat was taken while I was offered water - still, sparkling or coconut. Yes, coconut.
I was soon led to a massage room where I was asked to ditch the clothes in return for a dressing gown and some paper pants - clearly this was going to get a bit more intimate than I had expected.
Once I had changed I was taken to a consultation room where I went through my health history on a cute iPad with my massage therapist. She asked if I had ever had a deep tissue massage before and what kind of pressure I like.
I didn't know, but figured saying medium played it safe.
As she led me back to the massage room she warned that this 'won't be relaxing', that it would 'focus on my legs and bum' and that I should 'let her know if it gets sore'.
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I smiled and said I was sure I'd be fine, silently wondering what I'd got myself into in the name of journalism.
It quickly became clear she wasn't exaggerating. I was pummelled so hard my entire body was physically moving, and it seemed she knew the exact place to squeeze to put most pressure on my muscles.
She had explained that the massage was to focus on getting the blood flowing and lymph system going, the idea to help remove toxins and banish cellulite.
I could feel that what she was doing was definitely achieving this - my legs got incredibly hot, although I didn't have any cellulite to banish so I can't attest to that.
There were moments the massage felt on the good side of pain, where you felt as if something was being achieved even if it isn't hugely comfortable, but the majority of time I was in pain.
It might not look bad, but it hurts a lot
I realise I should have asked her to take it down a notch, but being British I didn't want to complain, and by the point it got really bad I thought she might wonder why it took me so long to say something.
Plus it was obviously intense for a reason, and I wanted maximum results.
When the massage ended I thought to myself that I'd definitely never pay £150 for the treatment, but I wouldn't be opposed to going again if the results were good.
But that night my mind was changed.
Walking back from the spa my legs were quite sore, and by the time I got in to bed just lying there, having contact with the bed, hurt.
The next morning I woke to find my legs covered in bruises, and the walk to the tube station was nearly unbearable.
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So, with hindsight, I wouldn't go for that treatment again.
The spa was lovely and felt really indulgent, and their menu is very comprehensive, so I'd love nothing more than to go back - but maybe next time for something a little more relaxing.
Sadly, I'm not rich, and treat myself to a massage once a year at most - but there really isn't anything quite like it.
I love the feel of the warm oil, the gentle kneading on your back and the way you feel so much lighter after you leave.
So when I was booked in for a Russian sculpting massage at a fancy Chelsea spa I was very excited - and at £150 I expected great things.
Arriving at the spa, Monnáy, I was not disappointed - it looked fancy.
I was warmly welcomed and my coat was taken while I was offered water - still, sparkling or coconut. Yes, coconut.
I was soon led to a massage room where I was asked to ditch the clothes in return for a dressing gown and some paper pants - clearly this was going to get a bit more intimate than I had expected.
Once I had changed I was taken to a consultation room where I went through my health history on a cute iPad with my massage therapist. She asked if I had ever had a deep tissue massage before and what kind of pressure I like.
I didn't know, but figured saying medium played it safe.
As she led me back to the massage room she warned that this 'won't be relaxing', that it would 'focus on my legs and bum' and that I should 'let her know if it gets sore'.
Read More
Related Articles
Read More
Related Articles
I smiled and said I was sure I'd be fine, silently wondering what I'd got myself into in the name of journalism.
It quickly became clear she wasn't exaggerating. I was pummelled so hard my entire body was physically moving, and it seemed she knew the exact place to squeeze to put most pressure on my muscles.
She had explained that the massage was to focus on getting the blood flowing and lymph system going, the idea to help remove toxins and banish cellulite.
I could feel that what she was doing was definitely achieving this - my legs got incredibly hot, although I didn't have any cellulite to banish so I can't attest to that.
There were moments the massage felt on the good side of pain, where you felt as if something was being achieved even if it isn't hugely comfortable, but the majority of time I was in pain.
It might not look bad, but it hurts a lot
I realise I should have asked her to take it down a notch, but being British I didn't want to complain, and by the point it got really bad I thought she might wonder why it took me so long to say something.
Plus it was obviously intense for a reason, and I wanted maximum results.
When the massage ended I thought to myself that I'd definitely never pay £150 for the treatment, but I wouldn't be opposed to going again if the results were good.
But that night my mind was changed.
Walking back from the spa my legs were quite sore, and by the time I got in to bed just lying there, having contact with the bed, hurt.
The next morning I woke to find my legs covered in bruises, and the walk to the tube station was nearly unbearable.
Like the My West London Facebook page
To keep up to date with all the latest breaking news, stories and events happening across West London, give the My West London Facebook page a like.
We will provide you with the latest traffic and travel updates, including updates on train and London Underground services, in areas including Brent, Ealing, Hammersmith, Fulham, Harrow, Hillingdon, Hounslow, Uxbridge and Richmond upon Thames.
The latest breaking news will be brought straight to your news feed including updates from the police, ambulance and fire brigade. We will also bring you updates from our courts and councils, as well as more lighthearted long reads.
We also publish your pictures and videos, so do message us with your stories.
Like the My West London Facebook page here.
You can also follow us on Twitter here.
So, with hindsight, I wouldn't go for that treatment again.
The spa was lovely and felt really indulgent, and their menu is very comprehensive, so I'd love nothing more than to go back - but maybe next time for something a little more relaxing.